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Monday, November 17, 2008

Friends?

Friends are a funny thing. You can know some of them well; others are peripheral. Let me clarify that; you can think you know them well. As I approach the golden age of fifty, I find that some people are not who I thought they were. I have lost two friends recently; one male, the other female. I didn't lose them for any other reason except differences in opinion. The female was someone I met at work eleven years ago. I considered her a marginal type of friend. She was in and out of my life since I met her. We had some things in common, especially the love of music. Punk and rock n' roll to be specific. Other than that, she was okay, but she kind of annoyed me at times. She could be petty; so can we all. She could be cheap; guilty also. But she was the type who would invite you out to lunch and then ask you to order the most inexpensive item on the menu. Maybe I'm wrong, but I believe if you invite someone out to eat you should trust them to order reasonably. She would also leave very small tips, even when the service was great. I would ask her what the bill was so I could leave a bigger tip and she would get mad and defensive. Or she would promise something one day and then change the terms or not do what she said at all. I am the type that would rather not be promised something unless it can be reasonably delivered. Don't dangle a carrot stick in front of me unless you mean business! If you are just talking to hear yourself talk, then talk about things that don't involve me. So, I grew tired of her bullshit and let her go. The other former friend I knew for many years, since high school. He came from a rather unhappy home. We had lots in common, including our love of Monty Python, pot, and music. He had a crazy sense of humor that was in evidence until the last couple of years. Then he started to obsess over my political positions. He would seemingly get very angry when I posted items on this blog he didn't agree with. Of course he has a right to his opinion, but his replies grew increasingly erratic and mean. Finally, he got mad at me because I wrote an entry on another one of my blogs that was a fictionalized story regarding something that happened to us in high school. I used his first name and he flipped. I changed the name at his urging, but that wasn't enough. He wanted it taken down and personally attacked me with very rude language insisting on it. I didn't see the harm of a story not using his full name and real places, etc. No reasonable person would have objected; without real information, it couldn't be traced back to them. To make a long story short, he now doesn't communicate with me anymore. I can't say after the incredibly mean things he said about me and my family that I am entirely upset with this. But, after thinking I knew him all these years, he has disappointed me greatly. I am willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, if he will do the same for me. But something tells me that is not going to happen. Life is too short for this foolishness. I forgive him. But I will not forget what he said.

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