I lost my best friend and lover of almost ten years due to my crack addiction. Here are some of the things I really miss about Angie:
I miss holding her hand as she slept
I miss finishing her sentences for her because we often had the same thoughts
I miss going to romantic places with her
I miss her incredible smile
I miss her loving touch
I miss going to our favorite restaurants
I miss seeing movies and hugging her all through the show
I miss the little things
The stolen glances
The love
The trust
I miss her
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Listen To This: Eyes On You!
5 years ago
2 comments:
Oh yes...it is difficult to shake the addiction...you come to believe that life cannot offer a better pleasure than the dopamine rush that coke provides ... here's something that I try and keep in mind ... when we pass on, cocaine is not likely to be available, or weed, or vicadin, or even a beer ... I learned from Patrick Swayze in 'Ghost' when he told Demi Moore at the end ... "It's amazing Molly...The love inside....you take it with you" ... so I've concluded that even though it may be hard to find, love is the only high really worth pursuing...
..here's an excerpt from my memory information product I thought you might find interesting:
Cocaine
The pleasurable high felt in the brain that comes from cocaine use is a result of a few different acts that the drug actually performs there. One of its most influential characteristics is its ability to attach itself to endorphin neurotransmitters at the brain cell’s receptor site when the neurotransmitter jumps a synapse. Under normal circumstances, the neurotransmitter would subsequently return to its pre-synaptic location, but in the presence of cocaine, it remains at the receptor site creating a short duration overload, contributing to the highly pleasurable sensation. Also, cocaine blocks the passageways that the neurotransmitter normally uses to return to the source neuron as it normally would. With no where to go, the neurotransmitter continues to send its pleasure signals across the synapse to the receptor site. Along with this, cocaine also facilitates the release of additional dopamine from the neuron into the synapse. Unfortunately, as the cocaine is metabolized, there results a subsequent shortage of endorphin neurotransmitters, and a severe let down feeling, or crash, is felt. What’s more, the chronic use of cocaine leads to an increasing number of receptors and super-sensitization of the receptor sites of the brain cells, thus leading to a lower general feeling of pleasure in the brain unless cocaine is used. Cocaine also acts to constrict the blood vessels in the brain. While this constriction is present, brain function is impaired. With chronic cocaine use, brain damage can result.
Cocaine use has also been shown to inhibit the functioning of the amygdala, which as discussed earlier, is a key component in the brain’s ability to form memory. Studies have also shown that the growth of the amygdala can be stunted in cocaine users. Obviously, an impaired amygdala will not send its signals to the hippocampus as normally as it otherwise would, and thus, in this case, short term memory would be negatively affected. What’s more, the depression that is typically the result of chronic cocaine use lowers the tendency of the amygdala to fire off signals at enough of a magnitude to result in any significant impression being made in the cells of the hippocampus.
Despite what you may have been led to believe, there has not necessarily been permanent irreversible damage done to the brain of a cocaine user, even after years of abuse. The primary move that needs to be made by the user for a full recovery is to completely shake the addiction, and no longer make cocaine the center point or goal of his or her life. This may be difficult to do for the long term addict, who may have convinced him or herself that life just can’t possibly offer anything better than a cocaine high. If by chance you or someone you know has this problem, here’s something that can be considered…eventually we are all going to die….and it’s not likely drugs will go with us. So, if someone is a drug addict, they will surely suffer in the afterlife. The popular bumper sticker “Hugs, Not Drugs” truly has some meaning here. Love is something we are likely to take with us, so it may be worth replacing the quest for the ultimate drug high, with a quest for love.
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